Good Lord, We're All Goin To Hell!

Yeah so apparently everything's a sin now. Just thought my readers would like to know that. Megbo's friends and I have a comment feud going on, and it's intense!! Ya want some drama, click on the link to Megbo's blog!! I am her lawyer now too, just thought you'd like to know that as well.

But seriously though, why is everything a sin now? Ya can't dance, ya can't smile, ya can't blink. Oh, and ya can't take a pee now anymore either because it will secure your spot in eternal damnation. What gets me more than unreasonable sins are people that are quick as lightning to point out when they think someone else is sinning, but only ever really just "talk." First, fix your own damn sin, second, go do something in the world dammit. Be a missionary like my new friend Steve, contemplative religion does wonders, I know, but active religion is my personal favorite. Get your hands dirty, make some changes.

Anyhow, I slept ALLLL of Thursday night away. I was even falling asleep on the train on the way home. I had not done that since my freshman year when I was still adjusting to college. I even did the head thing, except of course my head did not bob forward like it would for a normal person, it jerked back and woke my ass up when my head hit the metal bar. Of course, I dozed off again, and a woman who sneezed behind me woke me up bc she scared me with her loud ass sneeze. Because I fell asleep I missed a very important outing with my favorite Lola, whose company I enjoy like you would never believe, and this is my public apology. Lo, I am a rat, I need cheese because I suck. (Wow, that made sense in my head.) YOU FORGIVE NOW! To make up for everything, I want you to watch this video clip I have choreographed.... http://media.ebaumsworld.com/nevercoppedafeel.swf

Work was fun, my manager Conan (actually, his name is Jess, but he's Conan's twin, I swear....mmmmm Conan) was working and I found him to be an interesting character. Megbo was there, Sherly was there, Nikko was there, Ally was there...it was cool, we laughed all day.

Speaking of laughing....you guys outdid yourselves with the dumbass shit that comes out of your mouths....drum roll please.....

QOTD
"Hilariom incarnate, that's me."
-Lilly-

"I prefer to be called a Sciontist."
-John B.-

"86 Happiness."
-Sherly. (for those of u not familiar w/restaurant terms, "86" means you're out of something, i.e. 86 breadsticks.)

"He didn't want to sit at my table because his fat ass can't fit in the booth."
-Sherly- (being unusually mean today!)

"My finger is well-done."
-Oscar said this after someone used his finger to test whether the coffee was hot or not-

"I'm stupid, but Jenny says that's OK."
-Oliver-

"Where's that manager-type guy?"
-Brad...lol poor Conan-

"Wait...isn't it a sin to be up at 2 a.m.?"
-Lilly....ohh mannnnn....another thing for us to joke about-

"You're one of my sisters."
-Liz....awwwwww!!!!-

"Lots of stupid people, so little room."
-Lilly- (amen girl)

LIZ'S V.I.P QOTD
"Your skinny Mexican ass was all about that giant loaf of white bread. And now that I think about it, as a couple, you guys would be great together...you'd have to work out the issues you might have with him because his tits were bigger than yours...but you know, love conquers all."
(LOL....L-cake comes through again...a little background, she was talking about our enormous stats professor.)

"I'M A LADY!" SUUUUUURE YOU ARE, MISTER!!!!

LOL....So we start off the adventures at the Wrigley-licious Cubs game with Megs calling a manly-looking usher "sir." "Excuse me sir, could you point us in the direction of these seats?"
She-man turned to Megs, and upon close inspection, it was wearing lipstick, but he exclaimed: "I'M A LADY!" Megs was all like, think what you want man, just tell me where the seats are. Well, we thought that anyway.

Some drunk Cubs fan on the train kept talking to us and an old lady. The scary part is that he referred to her as "babe" a couple of times. When asked where we came from, what we did, I essentially painted the following picture: megs and I hailed from San Antonio, Texas and were medical students at Loyola who did nothing but study day and night and never went out. Usually when I tell guys I'm from Texas, I use my honky accent, but I forgot to this time.
He started to talk about Jeff Foxworthy and how "hilarious" he is (I was mentally shaking my head at that opinion) and then he goes: "You know, redneck comedy, like from Texas where you guys are from." We laughed in his face. Then the old lady turns to us and goes "Good thing HE'S NOT A MEDICAL STUDENT!" Right on, "babe!"

I got home from class tonight to find that someone sent me tulips!!!
It was anonymous, but it had to have been someone that reads the blog. Whoever it was, THANK YOU. I was halfway messing around about wanting someone to send me tulips, but I TOTALLY appreciate them. The thought behind them is so sweet and thoughtful. Who doesn't like to know that they are being thought of?

On the way to the train station, I found my Garden State soundtrack in my mom's truck, I guess I left it there. I went to go put it in my C.D. case and she stops me..."Ay pon ese disco! Lo estaba escuchando y me gusto mucho!" (translation: "Oh, put on that disc! I was listening to it, and I really liked it!") I was like, WHA?!! Momma likes the Garden State soundtrack. Props to Zach Braff. Even my little Mexican mommy likes the songs you picked, bro'man. Dude, what if Zach Braff reads my blog? If you do read this, Zach, my friend Lilly says you're her babydaddy. Is that true? Do we have to take this to Maury Povich so she can point out the baby's nose and say it's identical to yours? Cause we'll do it. Well, write back.

Liz says she's going to ask for pearls on my blog because the secret santa person might provide.

Megs, thank you for coming to the game with me to look at pretty boys and drink beer and mai tais, I MEAN, to watch the baseball game and have a coke.

Krystian, Lizzle's friend, will you be my babydaddy? I feel left out, since Liz has Richard, and Lilly has Zach "the nose" Braff....I'M JUST SAYIN!!! ;p jk (this kid has no idea I exist, I'm just screwin around, relax.)

Ohhhhh I better zip it now...I'm getting delirious...or is it deliriom?

QOTD
"His ass is grass and I'm smoking it."
-Jewant. There is something about that sentence that strikes me as gay.-

[AT THE BALLGAME]
ME: But really, who drinks Old Style?
MEGS: People who have No Style!

[A LITTLE LATER AT THE BALLGAME]
Me: That guy is really good at catching.
Megs: Yeah, good at catching my eye!

I haven't been around for a while... but here I am! (If you didn't really miss me, at least try to fake it!) (We women have gotten good at faking it!)

I mentioned in my first post here that it was pretty likely that I would not be posting here very often, but tonight I'm feeling that my idea for a post is much better suited to this blog (more emotional venting with a candy coating of comedy) than my blog (which tends to be oriented more to the realm of sports rants, announcing reasons for my eternal damnation, and posting embarrassing pictures of my friends)

Anyway, this evening was different than most evenings. Most evenings, no matter what's going on, I'm pretty content to be single... Yeah sure, those days I'd love to be seeing someone special, but most of the time I don't let those feelings get the better of me. Tonight was different. I heard a song and I listened to the lyrics, as I am inclined to do lately, and for some reason they got me thinking about my single status, and then I got to really feeling bad about being single.

I think this evening has been building for quite some time to be honest. (If we're saying it has been building since the last time I had a date, ...Well, that's been a LOOOOOOOONG time.) As for other possible causes, I have been exposed to babies a great deal lately, that always gets me thinking about how bad I want to be a mom someday (Not any time soon, but some day.) And in my lexicon of terms, being a mom is generally (though certainly not always) tied to a meaningful relationship. Couple that with the fact that my oldest sister had a baby recently, and my cousin is preggers again, and you get the idea about the baby factor.

I've also had a recent brush with heartbreak, though I don't think that really contributes to this scenario, because that situation was a whole other mess of strange factors and stupidity on my part... but I digress.

I've also talked to a couple people I've had brief pseudo-relationships with... the emotional-fuck-wits, (those who seem to get off on toying with the emotions of others,) the one I fucked over, the list goes on...

I couple all that with my new-found facebook stalker, noting that THAT is the kind of guy I am capable of attracting... Some creep-mo who saw my picture on the facebook and, well, took to stalking me... CREEPY, and not the kind of person one considers dating, no matter how bad the single feeling is weighing on you... at least not if you plan on not being drugged and molested.

So the contemplation of my love life, or rather the COMPLETE lack thereof, began. And I'm left with one question that I continually fumble with... Why am I so un-datable? A list of possible factors:

• I am repulsive and doomed to live a life of lonely misery (God I hope this one is not true)
• I have standards.
• Those standards are too high.
• Boys are not ready for me.
• I am intimidating. (At least that's what I've been told)
• I like cheese (though I don't think that has much of anything to do with my datability.)
• I have rules about who I can date based on sports-team loyalties. (Though I think that is inherently tied to the fact that I have standards.)
  

Factors I know it's not:

• It's NOT that I smell bad... I do my best to smell pleasant at all times.
• It's NOT that I am not open to dating. I am very open to dating all kinds of people.
• It's NOT that I am unrealistic. Yes, I am a romantic, but no, I am not unrealistic about my romantic notions.
• It's NOT that I have nothing to offer in a relationship.
• It's NOT that I think girraffes live in the ocean.

So, what is it? Hell if I know. I'm not asking for much here... I'm just asking for a hand to hold, someone to laugh with, someone who understands. I realize that my friends understand me... My friends, especially Nenny, really get where I'm coming from... but you know how it is, it's just not the same. Especially when she goes and cheats on me with my baseball team.

I don't know where else to go with this...

================================

On an unrelated note, I have said many funny things and have not been getting VIP QOTD... This upsets me, but only because it's a vanity thing.

And What Else Could There Be?

Lilly says I should really screen new friends before letting them be new friends.
I never thought of myself as gullible, really I didn't. I fact, I took pride in the idea that I was too hard on people in that I didn't readily hand out my trust.

If anyone knows the Nen, they know that poetry, love, and family are 3 things you don't lie about.
Why? All 3 things touch the heart, all 3 things stem from the heart, all 3 things are exemplary of a person's character.

I was deceived to believe that certain amazing pieces of poetry were created by one person when in fact they are the creation of a musician from Barcelona. This just leads me to wonder...what else have I been lied to about? Do people think I'm that gullible?

Music and poetry make me so calm when my world is tumultuous. I take myself away when I write. I let everything spill out onto a readable surface, so that I can share it with other people.

It's one thing to get inspiration from the world, the music, and the people around you, it's another to pawn it off as your own and let people make asses out of themselves when they are handing you compliments on "your" talent.

Geez, so much for giving people the benefit of the doubt. So much for having some sort of faith that people don't go around lying to you. So much for a lot of things, I guess.

Megs and I are going to the Cubs game tomorrow. In secret, I really don't like baseball. I'm just going because it's fun to drink at the games, and it's even more fun to check out the beautiful Wrigleyville boys. Mmmmmm Wrigleyville boys....they're Wrigley-licious...you know the kind...the hotties with the blue eyes, button-down shirts, abercrombie or express fitted jeans, a baseball cap, sexy shaggy hair underneath the cap, and flip-flops if it's warm enough. Man those boys are damn adorable to me. Megbo can enjoy the game, I think she actually likes the Cubs, I can enjoy the "view."

Lizzle offered to buy me a case so that she can go to the game in my place. If it weren't for the "view" I just described above, I'd totally agree to that deal.

Today was national cute guy on the train day, I swear, they were everywhere!!! Megs, I'm telling you, ya gotta train it more often. At circuit city with lilly, the cashier's name was Shawn Tae. I thought that was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen on a name tag besides St. Patricks Day when my non-Irish friend Fivos wore a name tag at work that said "Kiss Me, I'm FIVOS." He took the label maker and covered the word Irish with his name. Thought that was genius.

Well darlings, I must shower, finish a spreadsheet for Dr. Satan's class, then get some beauty sleep for my wrigley-licious spectating....[droooooooool]

QOTD
"True, but I like my Nenny pink-lung'd. not black."
-Lilly-

"THEY'RE MOOD PANTS!"
-Lilly cracking a period joke-

"Waiting on Love Ain't So Easy to do" -Jack Johnson-

I'm not usually a smoker. But last night, when I got home from going to the movies with Kate, I had me a cigarette. An import from Mexico..a tiny little fella, I got it from my pop.

In the brisk air, waiting for clouds to move so I could catch a final glimpse of the full moon, I wrote this:

Usually, I don't smoke.
But when I do, I like the reasons why.
I like the way the smoke flies away from my mouth-
Like, I imagine, ghosts would fly away if I believed in them.
I like the way I send away the weight of my life with every ghostly curl of smoke.
I like the way the night-time sky always understands
Patiently I wait- and I smoke a little slower,
but they won't let me see what they see
Can't help but feel like i'm watching the crowd and not the grand spectacle.
Patiently I wait but they are massive and you are full of yourself tonight, it seems.
Too busy to visit with an old friend.
Unfiltered. Imported. Short-lived.
On the ground
A few paces away from my doorstep-
That's all that's left of the weight of tonight.

Ok- that's as poetic as I plan to get on here. Don't get me wrong, I live for poetry, but I don't know if this is the right place to share it.

At the Chicago subway stop, I looked to my right to see a girl (who was joyfully plump in her own right) walking by in....YOU READY FOR THIS? PLEATHER PANTS. pleather. Yes, you read it right, I wrote pleather. To make matter worse and more comical, 'ol girl topped it off with a grey old navy zip up hoodie and white gym shoes. WoW. America, do me a favor and check your family members and roomates before they walk out into the world for people like me to make fun of. Really, thanks for the laughs but DAMN, fashion like that makes my heart sad.

I wish it was a weekend, or the summer. I wish I did not have to work, I'd sleep in, wake up, eat pancakes, read my horoscope, dance in my room, call up Lola and tell her we were dressing up extra cute that night to go dancing bc dressing up for no real reason is always fun, we'd go out, turn lots of boys away bc most of them are gonna be creeps anyway.

I love dressing up when I don't really have anywhere to go. Makes me feel so cool. Which is awesome, bc secretly I'm just a nerd that longs for spurts of coolness. I like how people always ask "why are you so dressed up, where are you going?" As if nice clothes automatically mean you gotta be doing something of importance. I should start making up extravagant stories that end with a confusing statement like: "Oh, I'm having dinner tonight with Donald Rumsfeld and the prime minister of your face!"

Well, my fan Lola awaits. She says she's the blog's only fan. The little skank. I MEAN...little skunk. Well, really, I meant skank. But she doesn't have to know that.

QOTD

"This is just so stupid. I'm never gonna need this in my life." -candace said REALLY loud in S&P lab today while everyone was quietly working on a lab.-

"My nipples are always hard, no matter what the temperature is." -Candace-

"I'm so excited! I almost peed my pants a little when you told me! Well, not really, I just wanted to be on QOTD." -Megbo-

"I knew what you meant Jenn. I was just being a bastard." -Dave "the breadstick" Reiter-

"I think I have to drop a class which means I'm out of the Outstanding Student of the Year Award running." -Dave R. I think he was making the award up....-

"It was a sigh of love, Nen. She makes me float away." -David O. awwww why can't anyone say that abt me?!-

SHERLY SAVES THE WEEKEND!

This weekend was pretty bleh. You know, the kind that sucks but only bc you let it suck. Friday night was decent, except for the part where I almost killed a nazi.

Happy birthday to Jason, it was good to see you, Mikey, and Kris on Friday!!!

Sherly told me that she and her husband Steve are expecting a baby. Out of the many many many people I have ever worked with, Sherly J. is definitely one of the most memorable. She's utterly genuine and has a humongous heart accompanied by the most wry sense of humor.
A few months ago, when I was considering transfering out of my location, she told me: "no! you can't go!! why does that always happen to me? everytime i really like someone, they leave!! kate left!! you can't leave too!"
I really like you too big sherls!! (SIDENOTE: Sherls is in no way, shape, or form big, at least not yet.) We just like to irony of calling her big sherls bc she's so small but has a big personality.
Months ago, she and I started calling each other "B" which is secretly short for bitch bc we can't go around calling each other bitch in a restaurant full of guests.

Funny part about everything is, she used to be soooooo quiet. About a year ago when I met her, she didn't really say too much. She once told me she blamed me for "corrupting" her. She's crazy though, she corrupted herself. ;p Anyway, Sherls and I have become good friends, and she is often quoted in QOTD.

Congratulations Sherly and Steve. I wish you good health (all 3 of you), endless happiness, wisdom for parenting your new little one, and all the love in the world.

Oh, and Sherly, thank you for saving the weekend with your fantastic news. Bitch. HUGS!!!!!!

QOTD
"I'm loaded."
-Sherly said this in her little Filipino accent while counting her $ @ work-

"Steve was so funny, he was all like 'can I touch your stomach?' And I was like 'Well yeah but you're not gonna feel anything, its still only like a piece of blood!"
-Sherly talking about her piece of blood baby. She showed me the sonogram, she's right, that's what it looks like, but that's only bc she's like 5 minutes pregnant-

"I hate people...all types...big ones, small ones, fat ones, skinny ones...."
-Megbo...she woulda kept going if I hadn't started cracking up-

"What's up funny-lookin?"
-Oscar, the COOLEST busboy this side of town said this to our hostesizer,Bill-

"I wonder if Monica's gonna reconsider being a Buddhist now that we have a German pope.."
-My manager Jerry commenting on our German general manager-

Oh, you're not purebred?!

Wow, if anything fumes me up more than anything in this world, it is straight up Hitler-lovin, Mein Kampf reading, unintelligent fat bastards who do not have a filter.

At work tonight, I was sitting at a table with a few co-workers, Nikko, Oliver, and the to-go specialist that I have never spoken to, Tim. We weren't sitting there but five minutes when Tim blurts out: "Yeah, we're sitting at a multicultural table...and I'm the only white guy here." Enter Brad...an awesome coworker of mine who also happens to be white. Brad sits for a few minutes, then leaves and misses allll the good stuff. You shoulda stayed put Brad!! Your boy Tim was layin out all the Aryan good stuff for the brownies at the table!!
He started off by asking us why it was "acceptable" for blacks and mexicans to get tattoos that say Mexican/Black pride, but it would be so wrong if a white person got a tattoo that said "white pride."
"Well," I said "perhaps it's because there were some white people that have oppressed people of color throughout history....so to get a tattoo that throws a blanket generalization of supremacy of one race might be just a tad offensive."
Oliver jumps in: "Yeah, it would be different if you specified, like...oh I don't know 'Lithuanian Pride" but to get a tattoo that just says 'White Pride' I think might offend some people."

YOU WOULD THINK THE DUMB-FUCK WOULD STOP THERE.

"Yeah I went to go buy Mein Kampf the other day just to see why it was so bad. The black cashier rang me up and gave me the hardest stare...it was the slowest transaction ever, and I'm thinking 'come on lady, i'm paying in cash!' It's not like she knew why I was buying it."

He asserted that he only bought it to find out "why it was so bad," but then he proceeded to say the following...

"I don't understand why people spend top dollar to keep pure-bred dogs, but don't mind mixing with other races. I mean, why would you want your kids all muddled up? People should be pure-bred too."

WOW. My blood simmered. WAY TO CONTRADICT YOURSELF YOU REDNECK FAT BASTARD.

This, coupled with the fact that earlier tonight, while I was standing in the kitchen I heard him say "Fucking Mexicans" regarding the cooks in the kitchen who are ALL Hispanic men reaaaaaallly set me off.

I turned to him and said "WHAT ARE YOU?!" The tone in my voice suggested, "you can't be a human being living in the Northern half of this country saying some redneck confederate bullshit like that!" I mean, if that fat bitch wants to marry his goddam cousins just to be purebred, by all means you sack of shit, be my fucking guest, but DO NOT spread words like that within my listening sphere unless you want some tobasco sauce in your fucking eyes.

Before I let anything else out, Oliver quickly jumped in with a neutralizing comment: "I think kids that are mixed are always so cute." I agreed bc I had to simmer myself down, otherwise, I might have cut him.

By saying that stupid shit, he offended almost EVERYONE I know, but in particular, he offended half of my nieces, who are mixed children. They are the joy of my life and I would die for them. So for that racist COW OF A BASTARD to say some stupid shit like that just got him on my shit list. I'm brown, yes, but I was about to get black on ol' boy. And oooooh let him say something else of that nature, I will have NO problem letting him have it, accompanied by a slap in the face. Tomorrow I will march straight to my GM to let her know that this sack of shit that they hired is a Hitler-loving Nazi redneck.

I mean it is one thing to not like people, but keep that shit to yourself. I may joke around that I am an equal-opportunity racist, but shit, I would NEVER EVER dare to mean anything I say when it comes to that, not only bc I am a minority, but because in all reality, I am close to people of many races and ethnicities....and many people in my family are mixed like a motherfudder. This is America, goddamit. Melting pot like no other. NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, and I can put my life on this, NO ONE is purebred. So I'm warning you now readers, if this fat bitch says ANYTHING remotely close to what he uttered tonight, ya'll gonna have to visit my ass in jail....my fucking Mexican self....RIGHT TIM?

I'm Bad at Shooting Sheep

So I totally had to walk home from the train today. It's quite the walk for a person that would drive across the street if it didn't automatically mean I was crazy & or lazy. I had my headphones, so that made the walk suck a little less.

Passed a car that had a sticker: "FAT PEOPLE ARE HARD TO KIDNAP."
LOL....it's funny cause it's true.

Really, I'm not as insensitive as I am portrayed here. (I say that like I'm not the sole composer of these postings..oh wait, I'm not, I have contributors. HAHA I win at life!) I just like to laugh. If it's at other people's expenses, so be it. I'm confident that the world laughs at me everyday that I walk out of my door. No biggie, scales have to be even.

Found a new song I'm in loooove with called "First Day of My Life." It's one of the sweetest songs I have ever heard, not gonna lie. Give it a listen before you die.

Had lunch today with Lizzle & Grinslade @ Subway. I found it's difficult to try to eat anything when two very funny people are around. In class, John, Grinslade & I played this game that tests your alertness where you gotta shoot little sheep with arrows....lol...I just thought of how cruel of a game that was. Mmmmmm little sheep....UM...I mean....anyway, after a few rounds of the game, we were proclaimed as "Bobbing Bobcats" and I took great offense bc I don't really like bobcats. (thanks for the game Liz- totally contributed to the disruption of my learning experience.)

Kate visited me tonight. We chatted here at my house then took off to Bakers Square for rootbeer floats, pie, and french fries bc this is America and you can do that sort of thing if you want. I just want to say that I love me that Kate. She is such a cool friend to have around and one of the only people that "gets" and likes my idiotic sense of humor besides Lilly & Liz. Liz pointed out that I laugh at some stupid shit. When she's right, she's right. I had this despicable excuse for a pie (this is why I hardly EVER try new things at restaurants & like to stick to what I like) that was more like berry soup than pie. And I really wanted pie too...broke my heart a little, not gonna lie.

My new manager at work looks like Conan O'Brien. I heard he gets upset when people mention it, but I really don't see why. Conan's a sexy bitch. Secretly, I have a crush on Conan, I think he's so cute in a dorky way. Ever done that? Like..."oh he's so cute in a funny way" or once, my pal Lynda & I decided this one guy was "cute in a..." no...not gonna say it. People are too sensitive for my humor. My favorite comedian loves to make gay jokes and he always says "If you can take a d**k, you can take a joke!" That too, is funny cause it's true.

Someone should buy me a bouquet of tulips. I like the ones that are 2 different colors at the same time. They're cute. Wait, what am I saying? THEY'RE HOT!
Grinslade does a great impression of Pinhead Hilton giving a half-laugh & saying "that's hot."
It's quite the sight considering he's not Pinhead Hilton. I like how she can say that inanimate objects are hot. Poor Paris. Girl's got the IQ of a shampoo bottle. LOL....Liz.

Ok, I've said enough. Come back for more tomorrow, or I'll cut you.

QOTD
"She's pretty, but you can't tell."
-Kate-

"Leggo' My Megbo!!"
-Kate-

"I think I was an extramarital affair."
-Grinslade-

LIZ'S V.I.P QOTD
"Jesus. Accept no imitations."

Equal Opportunity Hater

Alright bums of Rogers Park, enough with the muggings. Ya got my sweet friends Anna & Nick last week, this week ya got Liz's bud Corey. How would you like it if I shanked you, or pointed a gun at your face. Yeah, not so much huh ya sacks of shit?! Get a fuckin' job!!

With that said, I'd like to tell you that I think I like tulips. I mean, I've seen them before, but they planted some at school and they are soooo pretty. New tulip fan. Woot woot!!!

My S&P classmates & I are a buncha cheating bastards. I filled out a spreadsheet then sent it to 3 of my classmates bc I wuv them, then we all worked on the rest of it together. As a matter of fact, Aleksey, Darek, and I tiptoed in 35 minutes late!!! All to find that that sack of shit Dr.Yost changed the time it was due to 5 p.m. Bet he only did that bc it was teacher evaluation day. Nonetheless, I let it be known that I do not look upon that man favorably. I am pulling a B in his class, but that don't mean he's not a racist bastard. I mean, I'm racist too, but it's ok, because I'm an equal opportunity racist, I hate allllll kinds of people, including my own....damn beaners. I believe I have said that before...sorry my Alzheimers acts up once in awhile.

Ever wonder how many nasty little germs are on the railings on the train? I've been thinking about that lately. It bugs me. Today, the STANKIEST old dude sat next to me. NOT ONLY was he a stank ass, but he was allll up in my bubble. All filling in his crossword puzzle as if he could read or something.

So why the weather was all bi-polar today, I couldn't tell ya. But it sure as hell pissed me off.
Lilly claims that the sun is her new boyfriend.....that asshole ditched you today, Lola!! Want me to beat his ass? Cause I'll do it.

Anyway, you guys were fuuuullll of shit to say for Quote of the Day today. I definitely laughed a lot today. I shall share your idiocies with you now.

QOTD
"Did you tell our boyfriend I said hi?"
-Sheri, this lady in our class said this to Anna abt her boyfriend Nick. Sheri has appointed Nick as the communal boyfriend.-

"Where's my boyfriend?! Come out sun!"
-Lilly-

"You mean no one else has ridden him?!"
-Lilly-

"It's my big head...AND THEY CAN'T HAVE IT!"
-Grinslada tellin me I can't dance with other boys bc my big head is his; glad to know someone loves my big head.-

Me: Mom didn't come?
Dad: No, I didn't invite her.
(this was tonight when my dad came to pick me up, the p-units usually come together.)

"Grazie bella...sogni con l'angeli."
-Jason- (this one was just sweet.)

AND FINALLY...Liz's V.I.P QOTD
"I ain't just a black belt, you can just call me midnight. Don't hate me for my African heritage!"
(Secretly, she's really a cracker who claims to have earned her "black stripe")

A Little Game to Pass the Time

The red line can be so boring sometimes. When I've actually read my assigned reading, when there are no crazies on the train to keep me entertained, when I'm not currently working on reading a book, or when I don't have the SunTimes, I have to keep myself occupied.

So in my spare time on my loooooong rides on the red line, I came up with "Who Would I Kiss?" It's a pretty funny game actually. I shall explain....
I'm a people watcher. I love to observe all sorts of people. This only works when you pull up to certain platforms that have a good number of people on them, but comedy ensues when there aren't so many to pick from. You can also look at the people on the platform that's across from yours too (in my case, it happens to be the purple and brown line commuters.) But anyway, the object is to zero in on two guys (girls if youre a guy) and pick from the two of them...if you had to kiss one of them, which one would it be? You'd be surprised at some of the choices you'll have to make. I've hypothetically been stuck with a balding fat man bc the guy next to him was a smelly-looking toothless wonder (yeah, some ppl just look smelly.)

Other times, there are several tough calls...sometimes a lot of the boys on the platform are gorgeous. This only usually happens when you near the Fullerton, Belmont, Addison, & Diversey stops. Today's tough call was good. I had to choose between a gorgeous boy in a chef outfit or a hottie in a business suit. I picked the chef. Nothing more appealing than a guy that: 1. can cook 2. can handle kids 3. can play a guitar & sing 4. has a brain 5. has ambition I always say!!

By the way, I am going to take a mini-break from real dating for a bit. I don't have the energy for it anymore, I'm getting old. ;p Seriously though, dating break for sure, at least till my home life is a little less demanding.

I napped like no other today, man. It was sooo good to sleep! I missed the bottom half of the beautiful day we had, but man was sleep totally worth it.

Hey holies at the vatican, way to choose a nazi pope. lol, so blasphemous. I know. Shut up, it's only a joke. I am more than positive that Pope Weiner Schnitzel will do a good job. Although, I did read that he is extreeeemely conservative. I'm not too big on the women stay at home and cook idea. I'd rather be cooked for, Popester.

LOL today I saw a quote in Liz's blog that said "Oprah for Pope-rah!!" Anyone else think that's suuuuper hilariom?

And now, a message to my little Hans: "One is taught by experience to put a premium on those few people who can appreciate you for what you are." -Gail Goodwin-
Remember to walk tall baby girl!!

QOTD
"yeah, thank the little bitch for the good memories and walk right on."
-Lilly-

"I believe you should live each day as if it were your last...which is why I don't have any clean laundry. Because come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?"
-Hans (aka Meghan)-

"I bet you're getting excited...MOWING SEASON IS ALMOST HERE!"
-Josh being a racist.- lol (he only kids you politically correct bastards!)

"Studying this shit makes me constipated."
-Lizzle (who has requested to have her own QOTD section. this may take effect next posting)

It's a Beautiful Day. . .

Have you ever walked outside on a warm spring day and felt that everything at that moment was going to be ok? Well today was that kind of day for me. The sun seemed to say "I'm gonna shine all I want, and you try to stop me!" Yes, I'm in love with the sun. It just finds a way to make everything 10 times more beautiful than it is without it.

The other day my parents said something to me that really shook me up. I won't go into details, but it was something my ex used to say about me. I always brushed it off like he was just angry at me for being angry at him. Leave it to my parents to knock some sense into me, after all they're the ones that are supposed to know me best. Anyway, this made me do a little soul searching. As Jenny has mentioned, me and her love to sit and mock our SMFPOs, and we find this endlessly amusing. But I think for me, this is just a way to take all the hurt and anger and make light of the situation. I realize now that I can let go. It sounds so simple, I know, but it has taken me a while to actually do it. Today I sat down with the person who has disappointed me and has enraged me like no one else and just remembered that he also made me happier than anyone has thus far. WOW did this feel good!

I write this to all of you who I've heard about that are angry and hurt by someone who was once special to them. . .believe me, not only will you feel better, you will be a better person for it.
~Lilly

Noxema this, Jerks!

I've been blessed with relatively clear skin. Never had to invest in pimple creams or cover up. But Lord help me when I do get a little friend on my face. Not only are they shiny, but they are in the most conspicuous places on my face!! The tip of my nose, the middle of my forehead, and the latest, RIGHT on my bottom lip! It's like "hey, did you say hello to my zit?"

Weekend was nothing special, lots of work. People must have felt bad that I was lugging my gigantor zit around bc they were very generous.

I served a couple on Saturday night who were so down to earth and too hilarious for their own good. After talking to me for a half hour the man suggested that I implement change in this world via people's hearts. I told him that I was a psychology major and he said...and I quote:
"fuck that psychological bullshit, you can't change a kid's sense of self by getting into their heads, you gotta make them feel loved, ya gotta make them like who they are when they look in the mirror. shit, jen, start a youth center in your old neighborhood, give those kids a reason for life so they won't turn to drugs and gangs. SHOW THEM LOVE....THAT'S how you will save a kid."

I took his words into consideration and he couldn't be more right.
The way to make changes in this world is through the heart.

Speaking of hearting things, I heart Viggo Mortenson (Aragorn in Lord of the Rings.)

Went to the Latino film festival for the first time ever tonight with my new friend Luis the fifth (he doesnt know I call him that) to see "Corazon de Melon." The message I got from the film: "chubby girls need lovin too." I absolutely LOVED the film but I may have to disagree with the idea that chubby girls don't get lovin. I know plenty of chubby girls that get way more play than I ever will. At the end of the movie, the self-proclaimed chubby marries the fine ass guy who can cook. Way to go girl! And keep eatin them bugers, you know I will!!!! Remember, big is beautiful!

(p.s. 1.that was only the comical message I got from the film, there was way more to it and 2. there ain't nothing wrong with being chubby you malicious, politically correct bastards- I know you're out there.)

Really though, it's a wonder I'm not 584 lbs. I eat like a motherfudder. But I have really tiny bird bones, which sucks because no one will ever find me menacing, and secretly, I am suuuuuper menacing. I am menacing like a fox.

My vehicle has been ordered and will arrive mid-May...everyone..."WOOT-WOOT!!"

HI I'M JENNY FROM CHICAGO AND I JUST WANT TO GIVE A SPECIAL SHOUT-OUT TO MY GIRL LIZ BC SHE WOKE ME UP IN THE MORNING WHEN SHE CALLED, WOOOOOOO!!!!! (lol, secretly, that was me mocking the shout-out segments on certain evening radio talk shows.)

For QOTD,I must warn you that more than 2 of these quotes (all uttered on different days) ironically have something to do with human waste or gas, or rather, the act of passing gas...ahem..sherly.

QOTD
"I don't know why I'm so gassy tonight. I keep farting. Don't laugh! It's a natural phenomenon!"
-Sherly-

"That's a Filipino wife. We take care of our husbands, you can't just let em stray. But they gotta be careful because if they stray, something's coming off, like their heads or something else!"
-Sherly-

"It's not very funny being me."
-Nikko-

"...look for the love that first loved you- God's love..."
-e- (someone who read my blog posted this as a comment)

"Oh my God...Haley freekin exploded last night with poo!"
-Nicki-

and finally, Liz's quote..."Wow this has to qualify as some sort of cruel & unusual punishment. I mean really, she dropped a serious deuce and I had no warning! It smells like something crawled up her ass and died! And I don't mean something little...I mean something roughly the size of a small child or a goat!"

lolol...lizzle has returned

SPEAKING OF YOU, THAT REMINDS ME OF ME: THE RETURN OF THE SMFPO

Ohhh yes...I was expecting it sooner or later, the SMFPO could not explain why I have made no attempts to reach him, so he takes matters into his own hands and texts a few times and calls within the span of 45 minutes. Why? Had I any desire to talk to him, I would have dialed him myself.
But yeah, not so much...I don't really want to converse with the boy that said it was not convenient for him to call me.

Gentlemen, what the hell is wrong with you?!

Anyway, Lilly & I have found a new past time and that is mocking the shit out of our favorite SMFPOs. The title is indicative of a real converasation with one of the SMFPOs...Incapable of speaking or caring about anything other than themselves.

My niece performed in a Grease musical as Rizzo tonight & she was soooo great. The rest of the cast on the other hand was hard to stomach. Now, I understand that this is a h.s. play, but I have been to several of these and I've always been impressed. They crucified every song & made me want to cry of agony each time an act began. My niece was the highlight of the play, & I'm not just saying that bc I'm her aunt!
WOOT WOOT!!!

I was up till about 5 talking to my new friend last night & he is an interesting character. My favorite part about him, his poetic spirit. He wrote me a poem about my heart after reading about 5 of my pieces- he captured everything. There is something about a poet that is so beautiful to me. My friend Jacob, Kate-o's ball-n-chain, is probably one of my favorite poets as well as one of my favorite people on this planet. Love seeing 2 of my favorites together. (KATE & JACOB, WILL YOU MARRY ME?!)(yes, both of you.)

Gonna buy a black Scion in a few weeks!! WOOT WOOT!!!
K bitches, I'm out.

QOTD
"The Bam-Jew-Room?"
-Grinslada said this after I told him I was goin to the Bamboo Room-

"Nenny make it stop! I fear for Greased Lightning!"
-My niece Erica (during a HORRENDOUS rendition of 'summer lovin' @ the play tonight)

Orange on a Toothpick Woulda Been the QOTD

So I spent an insane amount of time at the shit hole known by others as Loyola University.
Went to class, didn't listen- did project, still not done. Man, I'd sell my left boob to be done.

I missed taking the train today; Grinslada (that's my pal David from Cognitive Lab, but I know too many Davids so he shall be called Grinslada from here on out) told me that Ms. Flow (the subway performer) actually changed her outfit. She usually wears this black jumpsuit with crazy phrases on it. The other day, she told us all that we all turned her on.

Grinslada also took the crown for QOTD today, but I am going to talk about it bc it's quite funny. One day he was randomly blabbing (like he usually does) when he says "you and that giant head of yours!" If I had balls, I would have laughed them off- I thought it was damn funny. He topped that today by telling me that I resembled an orange perched on a toothpick.
What he didn't know was that my aunt Juanita calls me Palito Con Ojos which translates to Stick With Eyes...It's a wonder that I have not developed a complex. Lucky for you name-calling creeps, I have a fantastic sense of humor. Stinkin Grinslada, stinkin aunt Juanita.

Lola showed me a video Mr.T did about 20 years back about mothers; he actually sang a MOTHER acronym...Boooooy you better believe Grinslada, Rob, Lilly & I had a party in the lab today listening to Mr. T sing "Motha' there is no otha' like motha' so treat her right....Motha' I'll always love her, my motha'...so treat her right, treat her right! Take care of motha', you only get one!!" All of this while he was wearing camouflaged pattern daisy dukes, tube socks, and his signature thousand chains. WOW...I tried to put it in my link section here, but there seems to be a problem...You haaaaaave to watch this...he's even got three skanks as his back-up singers.

Well readers- It is back to Excel spreadsheets for me. Sleep well, and treat your mother right.

QOTD
"Masturbation isn't so bad once you get around the negative stigma."
-Juan-

"You look like an orange on a toothpick."
-Grinslada-

"I just told my half asleep mother who's walking around like she's drunk that she stinks. She then said "your momma stinks." And then I said "Yup, that's what I said."
-Lilly-

Rainy Ass Day

I will accept the rain given that there will be permanent sunshine in the months to come.
I had breakfast with my momma today and it was good talking to her.
Skipped out on classes and watched tv in bed under the covers with momma today....ohhh those TNT movies....so awful.

Megbo told me that someone seemingly slashed her tire today and that pissed me off quite nicely. If you knew Megs, you'd be pissed too. She is a mini saint among people and the fact that someone intentionally did that to her irks me and if I ever find out who did it, someone will get shanked.

Anyone want to kidnap Dr. Yost so that we won't have to endure his agonizing class anymore?
I'm ready for summer break. This semester is ridiculous. I should have taken a lit class and a theology course too...I love them..so much so...that if I were a school subject, I'd marry one and make the other my ho.

Well- now that I have made myself sound like a jack ass, I must depart.
Buona notte jerks.

QOTD
"You deserve a saint, not a jew! As in Jewlian!" -Megbo

What's the Purpose of Pigeons?

Waiting for the train to come today, I observed two pigeons f-in' around on the tracks. One of them straight up took a dump, hopped to the next rail, then started playing with a twig like "yeah, I just pooped, AND WHAT?!" I looked around to see if anyone else was watching this, but no one really seemed to take an interest. Pigeons are ugly, foul, and stupid. So, may I suggest that hunters take an interest in pigeons as game? Baby deer don't crap on your car, pigeons do.

I should really be doing my homework, but I have a serious case of senioritis. For some reason, at this particular moment, I think my room needs cleaning, old friends need calling, and tv needs watching.

The incompetent fools at Allstate have yet to send me a check for my poor little car that never made it out of the coma. I'm going to buy a black Toyota Scion with that money....the Mercury Mystique would have wanted it that way. (let us hang our heads for a moment of silence.)

L-cake, Josh, and I went to Kaffeine in Evanston tonight and she and I mysteriously felt sick afterwards. It was open mic night and some 93 year old guy who was donning a solar system t-shirt went up to read poetry that I don't even think he wrote! I don't quite know why I was surprised when I heard the phrase "unicorn eggs" coming out of his mouth....fun times.

Oh MY GOD, I am so tired....time for bed.

QOTD
"You're a cheerleader for love & I wouldn't want it any other way."
-Lilly said this to me & I thought it was shoo shweeet!!

Lilly: George! Where are my W2 forms?
George (Lilly's father): In your butt!
(this was all said while Lil & I were on the phone)

Me: so you went to vegas!! weather?
Joey: Oh it was perfect...almost made you want to walk around in your underwear the whole time...is that wrong?

"People thought I was stupid, turns out I was just really sleepy."
-Professpor J.D. Trout-

Dave (the hungerforce breadstick): People say the darndest things.
Me: Not kids?
Dave: No. They're just stupid.

And So Life...Happens

"People wanna know what I believe in. They think I should take a stand. Stand up, speak out- tell us about Jesus, sex, politics, the color of my lipstick...
I've tried to do the best I can, living on the right side of the tracks.
Shame on my soul if I try to tell anybody else how to live, oh man...
All I know is...love is all I know."
[KERI NOBLE- "Love is All I Know"]

I have noticed that very little things make me as happy as I am when I dance.
I have noticed that letting go of pride makes you weightless.
I have noticed that it takes a lot out of people to partake in the world of romance...it's quite tiring actually, in that it leaves you feeling as if you've just completed a marathon.
I have noticed that we all run around trying to find a way to love and be loved in the safest way possible, but is love safe?
Sometimes you don't get the one you want when you want them, & sometimes I think it's for the best.
At times, I get the feeling that God spares me from irrepairable heart-aches and tragedies by making things seem illogical and difficult for the immediate.

I hope, for the sake of my outlook on amorous dealings, that soon, someone can thoroughly show me that it's not all shot to shit.
Love really is all I know, which is why I can't just walk away from it as if I had never known it was there, and why I am able to detect when someone is only posing as a lover.
I know love, I have felt it and given it; and I am straining myself trying to keep the faith that I will feel it and give it again.

It's no secret that I devote much time and thought to love.
When I see it flourish in those around me, hope surges within me; but I also wonder why it can't be me.
My most recent encounter with romance lasted a flimsy, shallow month- the same as the last one I had been in. I do not like to compromise my expectations, & those did not work out because they should not have....I was being looked out for (as I mentioned above.)
I'm keepin' the faith....
Someone somewhere has got to be able to make me want to stick
around for good.
Someone somewhere dreams of love the same way I do- and all there is is the anticipation of that beautiful encounter that has yet to occur....

QOTD
"These pants kept getting wider & wider & I'm thinking, 'this doesn't make sense!'"
-Megbo said this as we were leaving the GAP on Saturday

"She likes her bread like she likes her men."
-Shayna said this right after I asked for white bread at Subway...lol...we had been talking about my preference for Caucasian males when I date.-

Megbo:I'm gonna light Brian on fire if he doesn't show up.
Me: Hey Shayna, help us think of things to do to Brian if he doesn't show up!
Shayna: We could strangle him!
Me & Megs: Aw come on, that's just gruesome!

Lame Pick-Up Lines

Bar hopping with Jenny Mendez (or as I like to call her Menny Jendez) is always a good time. We always seem to run into interesting people. On Friday we went out to celebrate freedom and life in general but had to cut our time short at Doc Ryan's because of a "fight" involving some preppy boys. It was cute and all how they were really trying to look all macho and tough, but after about 5 seconds it got irritating. We decided to end our night at James Joyce where some sorry characters thought I would be impressed if they called me Penelope Cruz (No really, are you her? Can I have an autograph?)

Now to all you men reading this right now, please don't insult a woman's intelligence by giving us some lame ass pick-up lines and expecting us to be giggling idiots. Saying stuff like "it's my birthday and it would be the best present if you and your friends would come over with me and my buddies" just doesn't work with someone with an IQ of 10 or above. All you really have to do is come over and introduce yourself with something honest like "Hi my name is _____ . I just wanted to talk to you," and then proceed to ask questions and listen to what the girl is saying. Just keep it simple. If I this happened I would be so shocked I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

But I do have to say that these instances provide entertaining stories, so if you've been received (or have delivered) a lame ass pick-up line, feel free to share them in the comments section.
~Lilly

As if I don't have enough on my plate...

I tell ya... I give and give and give.

And what does all that giving get me? A whole fat lot of nothin... And now Nenny wants more. WELL WHOOPTIE DOO!

But all kidding aside, I'm Liz, aka Lizzle-cake, and I am the one keeping my tits.... (see QOTD)

I am the one who started all this nonsense. (My sincerest apologies) I have been doing this blogging crap for damn near a year now, and I'm the dumbass who shared my page with Nenny and thus started this mess.

I have my own page to manage, populated with all my own useless drama, so I imagine that my contribution here will be quite limited. But I'm always one to pitch in my two cents, and I thought it would be rude not to introduce myself.

Word to your mother. (or in nenny's case tu mama.)

Stupid Presentation, I Hate You So Much

Again, it is damn near 80 degrees outside and I am inside!
It is partly my fault bc I am a procrastinating fish-eyed fool and I have yet to complete my portion of a group presentation on women in the work place for tonight's class.

Had a hell of a time waking up today. My motivation was the sun. On the train I ran into David, the whitest black guy I know. He's in Toby Dye's class with me, and we all often sit in the back row together. Me, Dave, LaMisha, Rob, the girl with the curly hair, and the funny Asian girl, I think her name is Karen. Anyway, David is extremely comical and we spent the train ride talking about his meditative religion that is based out of California as well as crazy exes.

Crazy exes must suck, I am glad I've never had one. I'm usually friends with all of my exes, which is pretty cool. Anyway, I did not attend S&P lab today to work on this piece of crap presentation that of course, I had a month to do.

Glass Ceiling Effect, comparable wages...blablabla, bitch, make me a sandwich, I always say.
I do not have very much to tell today bc I've been locked in here all day. But, last night Dre and Jill visited and provided good laughs.

Congrats to my pal Trish on her promotion to the corporate world at Houlihans, Hooligans as I like to call it. Girl struck gold there! No more hostessizing!!! YAY!

Pete Yorn is spinning in my walkman and I would secretly marry him if he were here, that or I'd steal him. Kisses to you, Pete Yorn....(oh Pedro...sigh)

QOTD
"That honkey...but he's a cute honkey. I'd make him my baby's daddy."
-Candace talking about our cute classmate, Darek the Polishman.-

Liz: I'm getting my haircut today
Me: How u gonna get tit cut?
Me: LOL...*IT
Liz: Just shoulder length. I'm keeping my tits.
-This was an IM conversation this morning between Lizzle & I-

"Because I'm bitter at your Long Island. Why are you sucking on that ma?!"
-Megbo at TGIFridays last week. She and I were being silly!!!-

Lilly's Invasion

Hello all. For those of you who don't know me, I am the girl you read about on this blog who has said such brilliant things as "Hi I'm Dora and I'd like to explore you" and "Man-juice." Well since Jenny hasn't had enough of me in high school and college following me around, she asked me to post on her blog.

All sarcasm aside, Jenny has thanked me and a number of you in her last post for supporting her in her dealings with a certain SMFPO. But Jenny really needs to thank herself for doing the same. We both ended relationships with people we had spent a long time building a foundation that we thought would last, but were shocked as it all came crumbling down. But in the midst of all this, I looked around and realized that I am really cared for. It's funny how life works sometimes; you end one relationship only to create a stronger bond with others.

With that said, I will keep you all posted on the inside scoop, meaning the stories Jenny doesn't tell you . . .
~Lilly

The Selfish MotherFu****g Party of One (couldn't have said it better, Arbjan!)

I have never seen such support from the people around me as in these past few days.
I've also never had to give as support much in such a close time-frame, and I love it.

I want to personally thank Roxie, Lilly, Liz, Meghan, Arby, Ally J, Josh, Kate, Andre, and Eric not only for being genuinely concerned but for showing that they were. After a couple of months of dealing with The Selfish M-Fing Party of One [SMFPO] (fyi, that's how I shall occassionally refer to the ex from now on) it is pleasant, refreshing, and comforting to know that I have people who love me and care, and are not too caught up with themselves to show it.

I love you all VERY VERY VERY VERY much and I am completely appreciative of your time, concern, and supportive words (even if you were drunk...ahem...allison) ::HUGS::

Yesterday after a whole day of truly undeserving tears, (not exactly bc of the breakup, but bc of what did not happen afterwards...don't want to get into it) I finally talked to the SMFPO & after listening to a dreadful explanation for why I did not hear from him until then, I concluded that I felt sorry for him. To be able to love someone else, it is true that you have to love yourself...and he's got that covered....too covered. When you look back at your life & all you see is YOU, you've done something wrong. God made us all the way He did on purpose. There is a method to the madness. We are all imperfect and flawed; but in a way that I am inefficient, someone else is fantastic, and vice versa. I honestly believe that God made us that way so that we would NEED each other, so that we would call on each other, so that we could know love & unity, and thus know Him.

When you are a SMFPO, it will be highly difficult to be loved, and more dangerously, to love. So I pity anyone whose head is so far up in their posterior, that they will miss the greatest part of life.

Lilly said that today the lake will be bluer and the sun, brighter. I wanted to believe her, and I was a little skeptical, but when she's right, she's right. It is straight up 75 degrees today and my happy ass was smiling all around this campus. Today should have been skirt day. Lilly and I have been waiting for it to be warm enough to wear skirts. Not hoochie skirts, but classy knee-length skirts, bc we are classy bitches.
All of my lady friends are some classy bitches and I love them very much.

Philly-D, one of the most amazing people I know, has agreed to make music with me, and when we get it all together, I will let you all know when and where we are performing. Borders open-mic seems to be it for now.

*Get the hell off of your computer and go play outside, or I will cut you.

*Stay away from SMFPOs

*Wear flowy skirts whenever it's warm enough

*Surround yourself w/ people as loving as those I mentioned above.

*Listen to friends and family when they advise you to dump the SMFPO

*The egg song cures every frown, as does the moon song...I'll see if Liz will hook me up with the links....they're priceless.

*Guys, when a lady is in front of you, let her pass. Do not cut her off like a junior smfpo did today on the jackson el-stop. YOU SACK OF SHIT.

*Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone" will also do the trick if the egg/moon songs don't cut it.

*Give what you want to receive....the golden rule is phenomenal.

QOTD
"When me and a friend were visiting Cuba in '93, there was a high rate of prostitution, so to avoid being pawed at, we'd link arms when walking down the street. He was completely pawable!"
-J.D. Trout, my psych/philosophy prof said this today in class....he's a really funny guy. He's married, and straight, which is what makes this comment funny.-

If it weren't for the sun and my dad....

Shitty is the perfect word to capture how I feel about today.
Today is the kind of day where you get a headache just because and nothing can fix it.

Today someone could make me cry if they looked at me funny.
I had to go collect all of my belongings from my totaled car today. My shit-for-brains sister totaled it in February, and the case has yet to be resolved. There was a mixture of sadness and rage as I took all of my crap out. Sadness bc it was my first car and now I don't have one, and rage bc I was sure that if my aforementioned sibling had been within arms-length, I mighta choked her. My father bought me the car for being a good student when I was a junior in high school.

On the long way back from the lot, my dad offered to buy me an ice cream. That, along with the beautiful sun in the beautiful sky made today not so abhorrent, at least for that moment. He offered to buy his 22 year old daughter an ice cream. In contrast, my mother was being a real tool. We came home, we sat down to eat, and of course she starts fucking with me, and being in this sissy ass state of mind that I have been in since last night, I started to cry, and here I am blogging.

Please forgive that this blog is a mixture of all sorts of things, but all of those things are unified by loss. I've experienced loss before, but it never knocked me on my ass like today.
Well, a good cry can take care of that I guess.

In the subway, the lights went out in the car we were in and all of us passengers rode in the darkness for a solid 5 minutes. It was comforting in a sense, though I can't explain how.
Possibly bc I was trying REAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY hard not to cry.
Today just "sucked donkey balls" as my sister Sandy says.

Happy Birthday to my friend Miguel.
Thanks to my supportive ass friends for checking up on me through out the day, I love you for it.
And, no thanks to the jerk-ass that made me feel like this.

QOTD
"look at 'em...all comfortable in their Expeditions!"
-Dad, talking abt the Berwyn Police dept.

The Wrath of the Text Message

I hate getting all the green lights when I'm not quite ready to be home yet. I was driving around the town of Riverside tonight thinking the shit out of something that's slowly becoming decreasingly important to me- trying to purposely get lost in the maze-shaped town. Somehow I always ended up back on Longcommon Road.

This morning while I was stopped at a red light, I looked over to my left and a little boy, about 4-years old or so, waved at me and smiled. I waved back at him and looked straight ahead somehow sure that that wave from that little boy meant something. I've been having a hell of a time in this relationship that I'm in. I almost feel as if I am lost in it, but not in a good way. I am lost in a way that I've been enduring behavior that the old me would have stomped on immediately. It's almost as if I'm waiting for that bolt of lightning that will make everything better, but I don't think I'll get it.

Anyhow, I consider the wave from the little boy to be a God wink. I read a book by Squire Rushnell titled, When God Winks. It's a fantastic book and it's the reason why I think that the wave was a little sign of hope saying "it's gonna be OK." Sometimes you just need to hear that, or even better, feel it.

I rode into Riverside and I stopped at an ice cream shop called Grumpy's where the employees were seemingly happy with life and I envied them for it. It's not that I'm unhappy with my life as a whole, but there is one department that is gravely suffering, and it makes me wish that love weren't such a goddamn chess game. It made me wish for something better. It made me wish that I did not feel as if I was not capable of being properly loved.

I hate that my maturity and prior learning experiences have been reduced to a frivolous, impersonal chess game where almost every move that counters me is disappointing. I hate that I have been reduced to a silly, foolish girl who is waiting with hope for a change that is not ready to be made, or that will possibly never even happen. Even when I am bombarded with his best showcases of apathy, I still hope for something more, because that couldn't have possibly been it. Well, it was. That was it. THAT was who he was all along.

I'm saddened by this, naturally. However, if I have learned anything from this it is that neutrality, or apathy, if you will, is one painful thing to deal with when you are on the receiving end. This is especially so when that apathy is deeply rooted in egocentrism.
That was not what I signed up for, and I'm only sorry that it took me as long as it did to see that. I guess that's what happens when you give the benefit of the doubt- but for the love of God, so many times? That hardly seems right.

So- the top 5 things I have learned:
-Never let another person make you forget who you are.

-He or she will not change bc that is who they are, rightfully so.

-If you want him or her to change so much, you are probably not compatible to begin with.

-Cherish the good (all two seconds of it) and learn from the bad

-If you and the world around u (except for the person that should know it the most) know that you deserve more/better than what you are given, it is a sure sign of failure. You should never be crying more than you laugh.

Since I was remiss this weekend, I have a good handful of quotes. It seems people were chock-full of clever words.

QOTD
"I can't kiss you right now, I have too much cracker in my mouth, and not enough spit."
-Ally J. sent this to me via text at around 4am urging me to put this in QOTD, here's to you Al.-

"We're wasting our lives in this place, man...yeah I have my philosophical moments."
-Nikko randomly said this to me at work today, & when he's right, he's right.-

"Roxanne, you look like you're smelling farts, what's wrong?"
-Eric the Bartender

"Whatcha got for me? Lots of love?"
-Dad. It's translated, he said it in Spanish. I thought it was the sweetest thing. He said it to me when I got home from work.