probability and existentialism

I read up a little more on Existentialism this afternoon. The one concept that stuck out like a sore thumb was that it did not acknowledge the existence of God, which is why any judgement that would ever befall us (from what I gather about Sartrean Existentialism) is completely dependent upon the kinds of choices we make/actions we perform. I like that it gives us a sense of responsibility for our own actions. However, as far as I go, God plays a huge role in what I've become.

My Davey and I speak about, what it is to be human, what it is to have choices, and what it is to establish oneself in the world. I always like when we get into these topics. He always brings it back to the basics, and never lets anything cloud his argument.

I ask him if I aggravate him when I ask him all these questions. He assures me that I don't. I hope you enjoy reading our conversation. It's quite humorous at times- well at least to me it is.

One of the most important topics we discussed:
"I'm just concerned that who we are is just a product of what many would call the 'brain-wash' that is a private school education."

Davey reminds me that we are built Ford tough: ;p
"WE came from Epiphany, not the whole world- and a lot of times it clashes with what we became there....and we're outnumbered by nimrods."

However, he maintains:
"We always have a choice. Look at Javi and Baldo...they grew up with us and they're on some b.s. They made the choice."

I inquire:
"Do you think that our spirit as individuals plays into those choices?"

He went on to ask me if I had done something wrong because apparently, it sounded like I had done something wrong and was looking for a scapegoat in the way were were brought up. On the contrary, I told him that this discussion was only making me more sure of my place in this world because I was being reminded of where I came from.
He says:
"We're not better than anyone else. We're just us, and we happen to be decent people" answering my question in a roundabout fashion...not very David of him to do. This makes me think of probability and existentialism simultaneously....hahaha. What are the chances of a class of 8 kids in the graduating class of 1997 all turning out alright based on their own choices? I decide that yes, our spirit (which we hope is rooted in truth and goodness) plays into my choices. Yes, Epiphany did heavily influence my identity, but I'm gonna be gutsy enough to speculate that if not identical, I would have been damn near close to what I am now had I attended, say...Corkery, the public school down the street from Epiphany. I see my thoughts are changing. This is because I am coming into my own.

We both agree:
"I'm just tired of bad things"

He admits:
"I've been broken, Nen. Trust has lost some of it's meaning. I honestly have trouble with it...Nen- you know everything about me- I've got nothing to hide."

We talk about how not to let bad things get to us. We talk about discernment and choice.
He says:
"Cookies and milk and cartoons over sex and coccaine on marble desks anyday. Twice on Sunday."

I ask him if he thinks were were really given a choice to form our own beliefs....
His answer is soaked with Catholic school-boy-ness, but I know that its source is genuine. I know he has thought about this carefully because his life has challenged him in ways that FORCED him to think about this.
He responds:
"I'm the only me in the history of the world...the only me the world will ever know. I will be me for other people...people I love...total strangers included. I'm ready to sacrifice myself for other good people in this world."

It pleases me to see that he appreciates his own life, that he is aware of what he has been given. I do not tell him this. It pleases me that out of the 8 kids that graduated from Epiphany in 1997, I can safely say that 2 of us turned out alright all because we've been busy establishing ourselves all along.