It Is What It Is

Usually I crave solitude. Usually, I can't wait til everyone leaves the house and I am alone and I can blast my music, or read in peace...etc.

Lately, it's been different. I'm actually feeling lonely.

Take today for example. I got a WHOLE lot of shit done. I paid my bills, went to the bank, went to the library, paid my fees and got a new card, stopped at the post office, bought my first book-o-stamps, went to lunch, and then to the movies, all by myself. I was alright, don't get me wrong, but for the first time, I felt so lonely.

I didn't feel awkward. I just wished for someone's presence. Someone I knew. I engaged in a few conversations with strangers, which was great, but there was something I was missing. It was when I was waiting in line at the movies that I wished I had stayed home. My friend John from Loyola was in line with his beautiful girlfriend. We talked for a bit, then we went our separate ways. I was informed by the cashier that the heat in the theater I was going to was busted and that it was "Verrrry cold in there."

Great.

She wasn't lying. Good thing I like to layer up.

I wound up being the only shmuck in the theater. The movie was sub-par, and I wanted a refund. This was nothing like my last solo movie outing.

So, after the douche-bag flick, I got into my car, and shuffled through the gazillion cds I took out from the library and had myself a FANTASTIC drive home. Singing out loud in the car is one of my most favorite things to do :)

I'm sure I'll get over this. It's just a silly little funk. Like my pal Ray says, "It IS what it is!" You just have to deal accordingly. I have dealt with it the wrong way, the needy way. Never again.

Happy belated birthday to my niece Selina and my nephew Angel :)