Mama I'm Comin' Home

My cousin Diana is getting married today.
That girl is one of a kind and I am convinced that she is going straight to heaven, no question.
I wish Di the best and I genuinely hope that her new married life is full of love, grace, understanding, and respect.
My 16 year old sister Jess is livin it up back in Chicago right now because no one is in town except her and my dad.
Don't worry Jessi, I'll be home tmrw to ruin all of your fun.

Can anyone tell me why the hell I woke up at 7:30 a.m. today?!
Sure- time difference- blablabla. I've been here a week, my body shoulda adjusted already. Stupid non-adjusting body.

Last night I tried a shot called a chocolate cake. The bartender made one for this nasty dirty old man and had some left over. She came over and poured the rest in a shot glass for me. Vodka and Frangelico- chased by a lemon. Goooooood stuff, you guys.

I've had some complaints from some readers about there not being any good drunk stories about running naked down the beachfront. Well dumb-asses, I don't ever really drink to that point and you would NEVER catch me running naked anywhere. And whenever I do drink to that point, where I might entertain the idea of running down a beachfront as the Lord has fashioned me, I am usually with the fam, with Lilly, or with Julian, it seems. They must drive me to drink.

I have found a new respect for surfers. Granted, I still think they're crazy bastards because there will never be a day or a way that man could ever control the beast that is the ocean. But- I give surfers credit for having the sufficient "balls" (as the kids say) to tackle the ocean.

Watchin some old school Tom and Jerry- you know, before they made it so that Tom n jerry could talk. Man that pissed me off. Anyway, going back to Santa Barbara one last time today. There I will attempt to kidnap the city and bring it back home to you. I've never tried my hand at kidnapping, but I think I might be good at it.

I don't have any QOTD's for you, and for that, I suck.
No- YOU SUCK!! Maybe if you people said anything quoteable, I'd have a QOTD.

QOTD (Be happy- Juan and David R. have saved the day.)
"ENJOY SPICKLAND RANCH!" -juan (Don't worry, he can say that, he's brown.)

Dave: yeah, they hand out CT badges like they're candy.

Me: They have badges now?! I've only been gone a week!

Dave: We also have flying cars now in Chicago...because we're in the future. It's like 12:15 here.